I am very bad at keeping journals. This is because in journals, you write about yourself. And therein lies my problem. I'm gonna actually write a journaljournal entry now... prepare to be amazed.
Know how some people say you have a writer side and an editor side? Let's start there, so I don't sound like I have a split personality disorder or something. It's kinda like my personality is split between the verbal and the written.
The written half, that's the writer side.
The verbal half, that's what I call the lawyer side.
You see, I can write fiction and love it and know every little thing about my book. But Friday, I experienced something else: I cannot talk about it. (Rule #1. You do not talk about fight club. Sorry, ever since that "split personality" reference, it's been stuck in my head). I'm trying to sell a book right now:
Quick digression: (or whatever it's called). This whole more-than-one-screenname-thing is confusing people what happened is I googled "the meaning in silence" and *gasp* LINKS CAME UP! I can't even tell you my extreme shock... it was like, "PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT ME!" And for someone like me, that's the best news in the world, because they're saying great things. Anyways, then I'll go and comment or whatever, and they'll be like... "uh... who are *you*?" I shoulda kept the screenname, for logic's sake, but, hey. I like new ones. So we're all clear, yeah, I wrote that fic. its-all-a-secret on deviant art= ice_hot_13 on livejournal = wild-sunshine (is it a dash or underscore?) on fanfiction.net. Just so we're all on the same page.
Back to where I was.
Point was, I find it freaky. That's why, if you've asked me to talk about my book, I CAN'T. I can write about it. Easily.
Additionally, I can get up in front of a room full of people, and talk and talk and have no problem. Like in a courtroom, that's no problem. (How Mock Trial shows you who you are...) But I can't do one-on-one stuff so easily, and even if I'm talking to one of my best friends about my book, I'm not going to sound coherent. And I hate writing about myself. I mean, I'll babble for ages- part of being a narcissist, I suppose- but I'd much rather write about my characters. My journal- his name is Hermes- is full of story outlines. Not much about myself. Strange, isn't it? For instance, you can compare my journal writing and my creative writing. My voice is far more formal in a journal or essay; this is due to the fact that I don't have my voice anywhere but in the creative realm. Maybe I'm too used to writing legal arguments. I don't know. Either way, I felt compelled to explain to people why, when they talk to me, I seem nothing like the person you'd have expected to have written what you just read.

One day, this might end me up in therapy

Lighter note:
The Meaning In Silence might be destined for greater things. I got in contact with an agent, and, (cross your fingers) I'm sending my query to her this week. My teacher recommended me to her, and I'm going straight to the read-this-now inbox. So of course I'm freaking out about how to write this only-shot query.
Wish me luck